So much indecision right now. Just trying to sort everything out and start charting a new course.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not upset or down. I've got options and I'm sure everything will be good. But there is a lot to think about right now. Basically my questions fall into to categories . . . working and running.
I know I've got plenty of time to work through this. But one thing I know is true . . . I don't want to stop working yet. There are plenty of people left for me to piss off! And I really enjoy working. So real retirement is not an option for me right now.
But I don't need to rush.
So I'm going fishing!
Maybe 2 weeks, maybe 3-4 weeks. Maybe even longer. Add in some backpacking and 'll be in heaven. Probably leave some time this week. No real firm plans. Just heading out and the only plan is to have fun and catch some trout! Va, TN and NC. Don't worry . . . I'll take pictures!
Oddly, this is worrying me more then my job situation!
My frickin' hip is just driving me crazy. Some days better than others. Some days just suck (like today!).
I don't want to be hasty . . . my operation was in October and healing may take more time then expected. So I don't want to be rash. But it's looking more and more like my running will be 5 & 10 ks instead of ultras. I'm finding it harder and harder to maintain a positive attitude.
But I do know for sure that if I'm only able to run 5ks and 10ks I'm WAY better off then running nothing. I'll take that if that is what I'm dealt.
But I so love my ultra friends and the challenge of running longer distances. I simply don't want to give that up. Not if I can help it. I'm not really sure why this so gets into my mind . . . but it does! I love the challenge of starting a race and honestly not being sure if I can finish it! Strange!
Marathons . . . while hard . . . are not all that hard. When I was healthy I KNEW I would be able to finish any marathon. I might miss a time cut-off but I could finish the run. Even if I had not trained at all . . . I could finish.
But a 50 miler or longer . . . well . . . you never know for sure until you actually do it! And how far can you go in a 24 hour period. So cool to find out!
So lots going on and the answers aren't clear right now. Time will tell. I just need patience.
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