Tuesday, October 25, 2011

WTF?

I was doing great after my hip surgery. Staying on my crutches was a pain but not all that bad.  Went to bed Friday night and slept good.  Woke up at about 4am and needed to pee.  Back to bed and I started thinking that that piss was different somehow!

Out of 1,000s of pisses it was odd I thought this one was unusual.  Then . . . from zero to 10 on the pain scale in 5 seconds flat.  What the hell was going on?  But I had it figured it out in 10 more seconds . . . I was passing my first kidney stone!

I've know I've had a significant number of these jewels for several years.  I've even gone to the hospital and had a lithotripsy to try and bust these up into tiny pieces that should pass easily.  That didn't work at all.  So we (meaning my Urologist and I) were just watching these tiny stones.  WTF?  What did he thing these mini-atomic bombs were going to do?  And I learned that my Doc . . . well . . . I now understand he didn't have too much to lose in this waiting game!

Now I found myself in a pickle!
  • I live 30 minutes from the nearest hospital, 
  • I live alone 
  • I couldn't drive my car
  • I couldn't walk without crutches
  • I really don't know my neighbors very well
Damn!  Deep crap!

I called Connie and she said she was coming up to the lake and that if it 'got bad' I should just call 911.  I hung up and decided to wait for Connie.  That lasted all of 30 seconds and I knew I had only one choice . . . call 911.

I crutched around trying to get some shorts on . . . not easy to do with my hip!  Plus I needed to find some pain pills!  Finally, I just laid down in a little ball on the sofa and waited.  10 minutes and a knock on my door and the EMTs were here! . . . I could hardly answer their questions.  On the way to the hospital in Roanoke Rapids the EMTs gave me morphine for the pain . . . no help at all!  Nothing!

I really don't remember much of the rest of Saturday and Saturday night.  When the stones started moving I was out of my mind in pain.  (Yes . . . a CAT scan showed there were two medium to small sized stones moving.)  Then the stone would stop moving and relief would come fairly quickly.  I was pumped full of some high-powered pain relievers, but in all honestly they seemed to do little good.

And they wanted me to drink water like I never had before to try to help the little buggers along.  This continued all day long and all Saturday night / Sunday morning.  Folks - these weren't big stones . . . just 3-4 mm and they made a 100% baby out of me.  I cried, I yelled, I cussed . . . nothing helped.

Bad periods lasted 3-5 hours.  Then an hour or two break and then start over!

By mid day Sunday things still continued on unchanged but the blood tests were showing a rapid decline in my kidney function and the doctors were concerned.  The only answer was they had to go and get the stones.

You don't want to know how they actually do that.  (Hint: they don't cut you skin . . . I'll leave it at that!)  My only questions involved making sure I was going to be totally asleep the whole time!

Sunday night I finally passed one of the two stones and I was excited!  Maybe I could avoid the surgery!  I drank glass after glass of water with renewed passion.  But this last little dude was not coming out!

So Monday morning I was rolled into the operating room . . . and the next thing I knew I was being rolled into recovery.  I saw my doctor in the recovery and he  told me he had been successful in getting the stone (there was about a 10% chance we would not be able to and we would go to Plan C.  And Plan C is way worse then Plan B with is worse then Plan A.  But luckily Plan C wasn't needed.  The relief from the stones was immediate but in it's place were new instruments of pain.  But none hurt anywhere near as bad as those stones!

Here is the little nasty sucker I passed Sunday night.  Looks innocent enough!


Came home Tuesday and still having pain, but it is sooooo much better I'm almost giggling at it!

I've never claimed to be able to stand pain well . . . but I didn't think I was as bad as I was.  Those two little bitty stones kicked me butt like nothing ever has!  EVER!  If it had been a 100 miler I could have just quit.  But there was no DNF at the Kidney Stone 100.  You have to finish.  Period.

My daughter has passed several stones and she says they hurt really bad!  Hurt hell!  They are ungodly!  She must be able to handle way more pain then me!

And two surgeries in less then a week is just wrong.

2 comments:

  1. Frank, This is bad to say but I was just laughing as I was reading. Not laughing at you, but with you. I have never dealt with a kidney stone and I hope I never do, but to do that while dealing with hip surgery is just more than any human can bear. You are right that there is no DNF at the Kidney Stone 100. If you ever have to go through this again, it will be all too familiar.

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  2. I tried to make this funny, Rick . . . but I was seeing very little humor from my perspective! But glad you enjoyed it!

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Littleton, North Carolina
World's Slowest Runner . . . well, at least in contention for the honor. Just your average "below average" runner.

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